- Tobias: When a man ... needs to prove to a woman that he’s actual .... When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, uh, to her, something very, very special happens, and uh, with deep, deep concentration and-and great focus, he’s often able to achieve an erec...
- George Michael: I’m sorry, I’m going to stop you.
Tobias and Dr. Gunty during Lindsay and Tobias’ couples therapy
Michael: You haven’t auditioned yet?
Tobias: Oh, no, no. I’m not in the group yet. No, I’m afraid I just blue myself.
Michael: There’s got to be a better way to say that
- Narrator: While on the set of Wrench, Tobias had snuck into the costume closet and disguised himself as an English nanny in an attempt to see his daughter and prove to his wife he had what it took to become a successful actor. It was the exact same plot as Mrs. Doubtfire...
- Tobias: [after Lindsay answers the door] Why, hellooo. My name is Mrs. Phlyddia Featherbottom, the agency sent me over.
- Lindsay: Uh... I didn't contact any agency.
- Gob: That’s a woman’s wig.
- Tobias: I was told it was a “Bob.”
